About eight months ago, a new friendship sprouted from seeds planted decades ago.

For years I have yearned for an official mentor relationship. I wanted to grow stronger in my faith but wanted someone to pave the way for me. I'm not exactly sure when this yearning to grow deeper in my walk started, but I always felt like someone had to be appointed to the position of teaching me how to do that!

I've shared this desire with a my husband and a few close friends, prayed about it and asked others to pray about it, yet my life coach never came knocking. Then one day I had a impromptu heart-to-heart with a wise woman of God that would have fit the bill. Her advice, "I don't think you need one."

What? Gee thanks a lot...well now what do I do?

Ok, well that didn't help. I still felt that longing to go deeper but now had no idea where to go for direction, if not to a mentor. Meanwhile, my quiet time was quiet. And studying the the Bible resembled a cram session at test time.

Instead of leaning into my DUH moment and surrendering to my Creator's knocking to be the one to fill the position, again I shared my desire with yet another friend. This time, however, was a different response.

Why, she felt the same way!
She was also feeling far too distracted by life.
She wanted depth.
She wanted accountability.

God has such a way of answering prayers. If it was direct, we would take it for granted. If it was miraculous, we'd write it off as a coincidence. And when it's not in the manner we expect, well then it must not be His will.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

I didn't need a mentor, I needed someone to join me on the journey. Together my friend and I are digging deep into the Word. Studying. Praying. Challenging each other. Encouraging each other. And even find ourselves giggling with delight in our discoveries!

Go figure. Knowledge doesn't just fall into your lap. Growth only comes with regular watering, pruning, and sunlight.

Truly finding God means you must seek Him.

Hello faithful followers! Thank you so much for sticking with me from the beginning—and wow, how Depth of Insight has acquired quite a following in just little over a year now.

"Wait, what?" you say. "Am I missing something?"

Well you've only missed out on a year and a half of the blogging stylings of yours truly! I've been so consistent. I have new topics almost daily. I spend about 10-15 minutes on some solid topics. I mean, I'm feeling pretty confident here with my writing abilities and catchy titles. The proof is in the pudding, guys—look at the growth! Just because this is the first time I've "committed pen to paper," well that's just a minor, insignificant detail...there has been growth though!

It's true. I birthed this blog spot in January of 2011. I had a New Leaf client who wanted to start her own blog but wasn't sure how to go about setting one up. I, as I do with most of my web entanglements, expressed to her that it's no problem and I will show her the ropes even though I did not have a blog myself. Nor did I care to. Nor did I really like the idea of them in general. I rarely read blogs and the ones that I did, I admittedly passed judgement on in countless ways. Why does everyone (and their mothers) feel the need to blog? Nonetheless, I needed to be able to explain to her how to set one up so the best way to learn—and immediately turn around and teach it—is by doing, right?

Depth of Insight blog is birthed.

I created my very own blog. Like a new parent, I fumbled over my expectations. It had to have the perfect name. That name needed to reflect positively on it's proud mama. No way was this fake, ehem, test blog going to be another blog among the masses. No, not a blog that would detail the best meatloaf recipe ever, sharing how my child is the sweetest dolly on earth, or flaunting my gifted abilities (dear friends, please don't take offense. I run to your blogs for inspiration, entertainment and advice ALL THE TIME. This was a mindset that needed adjustment). MY blog will be a new kind of different. Something better. Something profoundly, fresh. Something deep and full of smart insight. People will talk. Awards will be awarded. I could already see Martha begging to advertise on it and Oprah crying over it. Crowds will cheer and the internet will crash upon the arrival of each new post!

Mine will be different.

And that is as far as I made it.  I can't live up to the expectations. [enter what-ifs] What if no one reads my blog? What if a few people do but I never grow a strong audience? What if those that do read it actually challenge me by posting a comment (gasp!) and I have to defend my thoughts? What if my grammar is terrible and my HS Honors English teacher reads it and retracts my A? (Ms. Mullins was tough as nails, she probably still has the power to do that.)What if it's not cute enough? Or too cute? Like waves crashing on the shore of my idea island, I could not stop the what-ifs from preventing me from building my empire. Plus I'm far too busy to waste—I mean give—away my time on a blog. Plus, things can be so perfect in our heads, why let them out only to be tarnished by the public eye?

But, alas, all is not in vain. So many thoughts to grapple with—so many lies in my head to address. So much unknown spiritual growth potential! God has such a way of putting things in perspective if you just turn them over to him. Looking back, the stall to post my thoughts was a critical precursor to something so much deeper. I can serve up cliche after cliche, but in the end, hindsight is so precious, isn't it?

So indeed, you have missed some, may I say, fabulous blogs, but my selective audience (of One) heard ever one of them. I churned and refined each blog post over in my head, usually in the shower, talking each one over with the Lord. He handed me some A-mazing topics to address. He critiqued my perspective. He softened my heart, and sometimes skin if I spent too much time in the shower, on one hot topic after another. He smiled at my enthusiasm. He opened my eyes. He humbled my spirit.

I am but a grain of sand, and yet he calls me his child. I am fearfully and wonderfully made; I am 'different' regardless of the fact that I wear the same shoe size as millions of other bloggers. My blog on the other hand, may not be all that unique, but I am at a point in my journey where I am ok with that. His timing is perfect. Depth is a process and I look forward to tracking my progress publicly. So it's time I start down this path into the blogosphere. I don't know where it will take me or how far I will venture. I might veer at times and I might unknowingly poke someone with my walking stick. But from the get go, I echo Paul's prayer, that through this, my "love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that I may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of the Lord, Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:9-10